The Decision to Expatriate or Not

Many people spend more time discussing, researching and then planning their annual vacation than they do a move abroad. When deciding to relocate abroad, some decide on a whim, others agonize in a completely unfocused way, neither method is recommended and in this article I explain why.

Over the last fifteen years my husband and I have made a number of relocation decisions. Reflecting back, they have been the least enjoyable times of our lives abroad. There is a certain pressure to “get it right” and at times, when our opinions were divided there was a sense of helplessness about “how” to make the decision in a way that worked for both of us.

In all honesty my husband and I were never well matched when it came to our reactions to international relocation. Having lived abroad for the first eleven years of his life he always had his eye on a more international lifestyle. For me, international living had never extended past a few extended summers spent in France.

And so, whilst for my husband the thought of living abroad brought excitement and enthusiasm to his eyes, for me it brought complication and unnecessary challenge to my mind – well, initially, at least.

If you are currently experiencing a tough decision and struggling with how best to “decide” - you are not alone. Despite the discomfort it is important to take time to consider and debate the opportunity of a move abroad openly and honestly.

As an expatriate and an expat coach for the last ten years I have observed people’s reactions to relocation opportunities. What often surprises me is an apparent absence of any desire to really think it all through.

Fate, this opportunity has arisen let’s go with the flow. This is fine if you are able to be this relaxed and react to the opportunity and experiences as they arise. However “fate” does not in itself create success abroad. Commitment, staying power and a clear sense of purpose does.

Partner's company decrees and so we must go, no choice. Oh now – where do I start with this one? You ALWAYS have a choice. By settling for what “has to happen” you are making a choice. The alternative choice may be to “say no”! Now this perhaps gets a little scary but scarier still is the scenario of you and your family living thousands of miles from home, somewhere where no-one wants to be, where you are unable to work or pursue any of your normal everyday activities, ticking off the days on the calendar until the next home leave. Remember there always is a CHOICE the real question is, do you have the guts to make it?

Fantastic – a chance for me to take a well-deserved career break! For many accompanying partners this is VERY true and often VERY attractive at first. But as our research, Career Choice and the Accompanying Partner demonstrated, the majority (78% of the participants) DID want to work whilst abroad. However it was not always so easy for them to find work once they arrived.

What will it mean to you not to be working - longer term? What impact will a career break have on your future employability AND how do you feel about financial dependency?

Well, how can we say no, it’s an expatriate package after all and only for two or three years, how can we go wrong? However good an expat package you have, and cost cutting means these are diminishing, it is unlikely to completely compensate for the loss of one partner's salary. Also, without thorough research, what sets out to seem “generous” can actually prove to barely cover the basic costs once you arrive.

What an amazing opportunity for the kids? Of course! Learn another language? Absolutely! Live in a new country and culture? Definitely! But at what cost to their lives right now? The truth is that young children relocate relatively easily, teenagers not necessarily so well. That is not to say don’t ever move a teenager – of course not! But do move them with the upmost care and forethought. Some locations will facilitate this and others will not. Research is necessary and deep thought about school options important.

What a great opportunity to spend more quality time together as a family, especially as I will not have to work. This could be true, but often quality time is hindered by the working partner’s long hours and extensive travel. The response to a relocation opportunity does not always have to be yes. When it is yes though ensure it is made on the basis of some solid thinking about how it will enhance your life.

Take time to make a considered and informed relocation decision. This means spend time researching the location and opportunity. Think carefully about what you want to achieve by relocating abroad and consider what you will also lose my making that move.

DECIDE is a six step process that can help to you do just this. You can learn more by clicking HERE