Moving Abroad? Six Tips for Creating Your Support Network.

Moving Abroad

When we reflect on our relocation and moving abroad experiences, our negative moments are often related to the sense of isolation that resulted from the absence of friends and support in the early days.  Loneliness for the accompanying partner can be very real and we can find ourselves in a social “void” when our need for social support is at its greatest.

What's really tough though is that it is at this very point, when we feel at our most vulnerable, that we need to plaster on our big smiles and start the job of "making friends" - whether we feel like doing it or not.

The importance of social support when moving abroad is well documented:

• “Positive relationships are one of the five basic elements of well-being" says Martin Seligman the father of positive psychology. We are social beings and flourish when involved in supportive networks. Our well-being suffers when we do not.
• Research into the experience of expatriation has also demonstrated that the size of our social network influences our ability to adjust when relocating abroad (Shaffer and Harrison, 2001).

And at an intuitive level we know that we need friendships for:

• Social interaction and fun.
• Emotional and practical support.
• Local information and knowledge.
• Career and professional support.

Here are our SIX TOP expat networking tips:

Identify the kinds of friendship and support that you would like:

This may sound a bit methodical but given that we all make friends based on areas of commonality then it is worth thinking about friendship from this perspective. Look for friendship and support among groups that have common hobbies and general interests, family circumstances, or professional and career interests .

Be a “Joiner” Lots of people roll their eyes at the thought of joining clubs or groups, but when you’re new, it’s a great way to meet people, so join an international or expat group (which have mostly moved on from their bridge playing, gin sipping days of old), or a professional networking group.  Just make sure you’ll have something in common.

Give and you shall receive:

Think of networking as a reciprocal relationship where you "give" before you "ask". What can you do to help others? Often we feel more comfortable in giving than asking and happily where friendship is concerned this makes for a great start.

Balance your networks between expatriates and locals.

Try, where possible to build a friendships and support among both locals and expats. Locals will give you an insight into language, culture and a feel for your new home. Expatriates have "walked your path" and provide helpful advice and insights. Just steer clear of the "negativity merchants".

Understand friendship from the cultural perspective of your host county.

Catherine Transler makes just this point on her website www.expatscience.com. Friendship and the development and acceptance of people as friends can vary from culture to culture. Understand how friendships are created in your host culture. Some cultures are more open and welcoming than others....

Time and effort:

It takes time and effort to build a new network and to make meaningful friendships. Plan out what you are prepared and comfortable to do initially and then take a few actions each day. A few months on you will realise that loneliness was simply a part of the transition process.

Social Media.

If you are not already involved in social media then get online and become active in relevant forums. But don’t use social media as a way to avoid getting out and building face to face friendships.

Facebook has many groups for different capital cities, use the search function and find one in your new country.  “Like” Thriving Abroad and/or the Expat Partners Online Coffee group.

LinkedIn is a great professional network also has groups for expats and accompanying partners, for example look for the following groups

• Families in Global Transition.
• Expatriate Writers and Journalists.
• InterNations.org
• Trailing Spouse Network.

Link to people in your new destination and develop an online dialogue and join expat and country groups – a good way to research and build your knowledge.

Twitter - a great way to get quick responses to quick questions and who knows you may make a friend in the process. Google Circles: Set up a gmail account and start to search within the communities function for support groups living in your new area.

For more networking ideas, take a look at our Pinterest board: Networking Inspiration.

Any other networking tips/ideas to share, please leave a comment below.