Expat Partners: Are you living for the present or the future or both?

You may have noticed, if you are a regular to Twitter, Facebook or Linkedin that we are currently running a special programme: Step Up and Thrive Abroad; three videos and workbooks and one webinar all for free and all designed to inspire and support expat partners to achieve their best start to 2014.

So of course the premise for this should be that we are leading by example – setting inspiring, and challenging goals and, yes we are. We ended 2013 with a review of the past year, successes, failures and what we had learnt from our experiences. We discussed our vision for Thriving Abroad and set some stretching and in parts scary intentions (yes we’ll definitely be heading out of our comfort zones). So, I can say hand on heart we have walked the walk.

Yesterday I saw this quote posted on Facebook and it caused me to question where “living for the moment” fits with the concept of life and goal planning.

 “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”

Bill Keane.

If we are always thinking about our future goals how can we be fully present in the present? And if the present is where we really should be, why try to influence or control this "mysterious future"?

Controlling our expatriate experience after all is a challenge in itself. Characteristics most admired in expatriates often allude to that lack of control. The need to be adaptive and flexible, resourceful for when things don’t go to plan, accompanied by a good dose of humour to see you through the really tough times…. but then as expat partners you know all about that!

But then I went for a run… big round of applause please, it was a serious mind over matter moment. You see for ages, years in fact I have had this new year's goal, lose six, seven and now eight kilos and get fit. Each year starts with the same goal, each year ends the same results. The scales oscillates a few kilo's either way and I dabble in fitness BUT I never comprehensively achieve my goal.

Then this year, practicing what I preach, I sat down and really reviewed my path to unfulfilled fitness goals. I reviewed whether it really mattered to me and found that yes it did. Then I reviewed why I didn’t achieve what I had set out to achieve and realized that this happened due to a combination of inconsistency of effort and focus on negative failings rather than the successes.

So following my review and with a little more positive thought I realized I needed to:

• Be consistent.
• Celebrate my successes and achievements.
• Give myself time to shop and cook good nutritious food.
• Work exercise into the optimal part of the day where I am more likely to stick at it – for me first thing.

As a result, today I was out running …..before I switched on the computer.

And my review of the past meant that I was out there, enjoying and feeling really good about being there. I enjoyed the view, the time to myself, the fact that it was good for me. I was enjoying the gift of the present. History, as is so often the case with history, had taught me some important lessons about myself and about the best way to get the most out of the present.

If you want guidance in reviewing, you can access the video HERE part of the Step Up and Thrive Abroad video series.

But what of the future – the mystery. If we cannot control our lives then the best we can do is set ourselves up to be the best version of ourselves, ready to react to the opportunities and cope with the set-backs. Also in order to live your best “present” life it helps to have a vision of something you are inspired by and want to work towards.

I am inspired in my health campaign not by a desire to be a size zero, but by my desire to be there in the best way for my children. I am an older Mum. I want to be fit and involved in their lives for many years – no decades to come..

So my present enjoyment, determination and discipline for exercise and healthy living is informed by my past experience of what worked and what did not AND by my future vision of health and fitness. It is a challenge that feels good and I don’t even think of it as a goal or end destination just a state of being. I’m “building the new” to quote Socrates.

And so, the present is certainly a rich present made all the richer by understanding the past and seeing the present as part of a fascinating journey to a future yet unknown for certain… but imagined and envisioned, so motivating me to move forward, learn and grow step by step, day by day ….

Whatever your vision for change and challenge we are here to support you as you “Step Up and Thrive Abroad”.

It’s not too late to get access to the three vidoes.  STEP UP AND THRIVE ABROAD

 We'd also like to invite you to join our WEBINAR: How to Use Your Strengths to Step Up and Thrive Abroad. Designed for Expat Partners: Engage in life with enthusiasm and passion by drawing on your personal strengths.