Moving Abroad: What Can Expatriates Do To Ease the Challenge Of The Early Days Abroad?

Excitement, fascination, a sense of liberation and adventure. These are emotions and reactions that you may feel inthese first few heady weeks abroad. You may feel like a privileged tourist, no need to cram all the sight-seeing into a few short days, this is your new life, you can stroll and explore at your leisure, you have time….

Then there may come a point when you realise that unlike the tourists that surround you, you are not going to be moving on to the next adventure. This is it, this is your new life abroad and you feel a need to settle, to feel at home, comfortable, a part of the community.

I remember pouring over tourist guides in my first few weeks in Portugal marveling at all the wonderful places I could visit, restaurants I could try, the interest and novelty of somewhere new to explore seemed so exciting and I felt very lucky to be able to indulge in the experience.

But then, at some point, life and all the nitty gritty of organising everything started to feel a challenge.. My husband was working and I was left home alone without a car or a friend in sight. I was experiencing the other side of being new; isolation. The sense of excitement started to wane and I began to question;

• Will I ever feel comfortable here?
• How am I going to fill my days?
• How will I make new friends?

If you find yourself thinking this way, here are some ways to approach your new adventure, and ultimately thrive abroad:

Remember your perception of the challenges will influence the outcome.

Some expatriate partners see adventure where others see problems, some see opportunity, whilst others see inconvenience and feel resentment at the discomfort of new lives which demand that they step well outside their established comfort zones. Choose to open your mind to the opportunities of your new life abroad, and choose adventure and learning as your perspective, then you will find it easier to accept the challenges and benefit from the new opportunities.

Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve today? What do I want to feel and think about my new life here today?

Create your own welcoming familiar and comfortable space abroad.

We all crave comfort, a space and place to relax and feel at home. Moving into a new home on the other side of the world in surroundings that feel alien to you requires quite a personal adjustment. Take time to make your home environment familiar and comforting. Put up pictures, photographs, the personal items and furnishings that will mean you recognise this personal space as yours.

What can you do to create your new home from home?

Get ahead with all the tasks:

If you are in a hotel for a month before you move into your new home think about what you can do to pre-empt the settling in tasks. Go to the supermarkets and familiarize yourself with the products and labeling. Learn where to go and where not to go. Find a local guide to help you locate the everyday shops, banks and services that you will need. Find out what you need to organize on the utilities front, make the appointments well ahead of time so that you are not disappointed. Sorting out all of these more basic everyday issues will help you to feel more in control of your new life and environment.

Write a plan of all that needs to be done, organized so that you can shop, live and manage your daily activities with familiarity and ease.

Sense of humour:

Along with an open and positive mindset learn to laugh at your mistakes and at experiences that annoy or frustrate you. Of course there will be difficult days but try to see them as part of the adventure and fun of relocation.

What did you enjoy today? What was fun? What was funny? What did you do that you feel good about? What will you look forward to doing again?

Be sociable and open to opportunities to socialize.

Accept invitations to coffee and dinner. Don’t be picky initially, be sociable. If your children are starting in a new school see if there are any opportunities for them to meet some of their classmates ahead of day one, ask for a class lists and call/email parents to arrange a playdate or two. Don’t avoid the expatriate organisations/clubs, they are often a great initial place for advice, country insights and friends.

When we first moved to Madrid I was determined not to do the “expatriate thing”. I was going to mix with the locals and speak Spanish fluently within six months. My whole focus became my language lessons and outside of these I had no friends. My husband was working long hours. After nine months I had to admit I was lonely. I joined the local expatriate women’s club and never looked back. I made friends, learnt loads about the locality, and started through the connections I had made to build my own small English language teaching business. I suddenly had a life that felt real and a social support network that really helped me both personally and professionally.

Remember why you came.

The opportunity to experience living in a new country and culture. Challenge yourself to learn the local language: learn ten words per day, watch TV, read the local newspapers. Look for opportunities to socialise with the locals; join a health club, take up a new hobby in the local language. This will take you out of your comfort zone initially but you’ll be surprised at how quickly you become accepted, comfortable and a part of the group.

Ask: What can I do to develop my social life and involvement in the local community and culture?

“Learning about the world. Living abroad has been such an eye opening experience, I am forever grateful for the opportunity and for the lessons I'm learning.”

Quote from Career Choice and the Accompanying Partner, 2012.

• What has helped you to settle and adapt in the early days of your new life abroad?

• What would you recommend accompanying partners do to settle themselves and their families in the early days abroad?